I have to tell you this story. It is too self deprecatingly perfect no to tell.Today we went to the pool. (For the first time all summer as an entire family. How did that happen? A whole summer, gone.) (I apologize ahead of time for the length. I just had to get it recorded so I can remember what a total dork I am.)
There I find myself getting all giddy because I spy a very pregnant chick who appears to be around my age in the kiddie pool with her little one. He turns out to be two (perfect). She is due in a month (perfect). She is friendly enough to chat here and there with me as her son paddles around and around and around me on his spiderman boogie board (which Evareaux thinks is THE coolest, and so she chases him.) Could she, would she, be my friend? (Man, I am pathetic. But I know I need buddies and I have already declared to Hottie that the "perfect fit" would be someone my age-ish with a kid under 4 and a baby, or even better.... pregnant.) I feel like I have hit the jackpot when it dawns on me that this is a community pool, which means she lives in my neighborhood somewhere. I make off-handed comments about how I need to get Ev more "social" and help her make "friends."(Again, pathetic using my child as bate... what-evs.) Hottie even jumps in and tries to help out saying that we just moved here from CA (good move babe.... it's like, "Hey, I have no friends, you could be my friend!") She seems intrigued but is having the same problem making a real connection that I am... distracted by trying to focus on keeping a toddler from drowning, kicking her in the stomach, or cracking his head on the edge of the pool. It's just not conducive to bonding with other adults.
Why can't this be more like dating? I think. I was always so great at just point blank asking guys out... or giving them my number. "How about coffee sometime," I'd say. (Even though I don't drink coffee.) (Hey, it worked on my now husband.) Trying to find a friend to hang out with is so much harder than that for me. I don't want to seem too forward and needy....even though I am. :) I feel the need to "play it cool" much like meeting someone at a bar and then just hoping he'll be there next week so we can talk again. (Ok, I never did that... but I could imagine. As we left I caught myself wondering how often she takes her kid to the pool..... I should have asked. shoot. Then I'd know when to go too.)
The silliest part of this...ok. There are two really silly parts. One. It feels so incredibly bizarre to be "hitting on" (that's what I'll call trying to make a friend) a woman as an adult out of the blue. Simply because she seems nice, and fits my wish list of potential friends on the surface. (and she is my only potential thus far.) It's weird to do this surrounded by my kids and husband. They immediately latch on to the idea that this could be a match for me.... they can tell that I am kind of putting myself out there by making conversation. This is foreign to them (I didn't have many friends back in CA... certainly none I had to go out and find.) Hottie even tries to help by keeping the dialogue going here and there. It feels just plain silly to try to "make a friend."
Two. There is this other element. I have had what I have referred to as a "friend at first sight" encounter. Silly me. I declared to the heavens (and my kids, and husband.... embarrassingly and simultaneously shamelessly.) That this could be my friend-mate. The first weekend we moved to Lexington there was a community garage sale. As we were driving around the hood I spotted a couple walking on the sidewalk.... the Dad pulling a red flyer wagon with a 2-3 year old boy in it. The mom walking a few paces ahead up a hill, water bottle in hand... round pregnant belly... looking a tad bit miserable. "Hm," I thought. "She's pregnant... maybe we could be friends"...... as we drove past I looked in the rear view mirror......... she was wearing a Dunder Mifflin tshirt. "THE OFFICE!!" I squealed in my most excitable pregnant voice. "I LOVE The Office! She LOVES The Office, enough to wear the tshirt!...... (then the statement of all statements.....) "She could be the one!"
And there you have it. I have declared that this woman and I will be bff's based on a two second glance, a well placed tv ad, and a hint of misery during a walk. I truly know nothing about her.... and if she heard this story she would probably run screaming, no matter how nice she is. But I had made it into a "thing"... talking about how maybe I will be able to track this chick down. Introduce myself. Of course we'd hit it off if only I could just find her................somehow. someday.
I am 92% sure that this is the same chick.
Shock. Awe. Embarrassment. Excitement. Shyness. (Why? She doesn't know the story..... yet. Hottie said I should ask if she owns a Dunder Mifflin shirt & I was incredulous.... why would I do that?! Then I would have to tell the story & she would waddle away as fast as pregnantly possible! No, that is more like a ..... now that we have been friends for awhile..... hahaha... isn't that fun-weird.... a little weird but mostly just funny? certainly not crazy at all..... hahahaha. look how things have worked out....... "the one" "friend-mate"..... hahahahahaa. hahaha. ha. ha. Yeah, that timing would be far less creepy. (I might as well create an imaginary friend for all of the fantasizing about this relationship I am doing.)
As we are pulling away from the pool today my 15 year old says, "hey, is that the Dunder Mifflin chick?"
"I don't know," I reply wistfully.
"Maybe you could be friends," he says.
"Maybe," I say. "Maybe."
By the way..... No, I didn't get the digits. Maybe next time.
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