I just wanted to take some time today to express my gratitude. To say I am floored by the outpouring of comments, care, and concern, would be an understatement. I felt all warm and fuzzy reading your supportive words. I know it's not something that people often blog about openly, and I really appreciate your kindness, and understanding.
Writing that post felt scary but also strangely cathartic. Like I was coming clean with something. Like giving the monkey on my back an eviction notice.
I want to re-assure anyone that might be worried about my well being… My husband has promised to make an appointment with a therapist in our area for me. Once I explain what's going on to her we'll work together to figure out a medication and/or plan to get me back on track with feeling normal.
I also want to tell you that although I have no doubt that I'm clinically depressed and need help I've never had any thoughts of hurting myself or those around me. That's just not one of my issues. I don't want anyone to worry about that with me.
I know I am loved. I know people care about me. I know that there is a lot to be happy about.. and I plan to take care of myself, with the help of my husband… & take the steps I need to to be myself again and live life to the fullest.
I promise to give you updates here and there on my progress. I would like to go back to blogging as usual too. It feels good to be able to share my projects and random bits of life, so I will continue to do those things. Thanks again, your support and advice means the world to me.
Change is hard. You've had plenty of it, with having a new baby (a very very cute one! but dang they wreak havoc on our systems, don't they?!), quitting a job, moving to a new state (that's not just hard for the kids!), losing some family members, getting to visit with family, only to have to leave again, getting close to girls on a derby team only to have to leave them and try and form friendships with a whole new team, living in a house that you hate while waiting for your home to be built, etc. This crap adds up. People need solid support systems and it sounds like you are trying to be everything to everyone and, while you're doing a fantastic job, you need to be taken care of too! You need a support system that you simply haven't had time to build up yet. (I know you have an awesome family - I mean a friend who you can call up if you want to get out of the house for the day.) I'm so glad to hear you are being kind to yourself. Just know that I HEAR you and I'm on your side!
ReplyDeleteWow! Well put, Amber, thank you!
DeleteOh my goodness Elizabeth! I'm just getting caught up on blogs now that school is back in session. You are such a brave, strong and incredible person. Your previous blog was so real and so honest. This is why people such as yourself should have blogs. I admire the "real life-ness" (is that even a word?) of your blog. So much strength and prayers being sent your way. You've had a crazy busy year (and really...that doesn't even give your year justice) so I can only imagine the feelings you must be having. I am so glad that your Hottie is supportive and that you're working together toward a goal. Keep the posts coming, no matter what the content. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteSending you big love this week. xo
ReplyDeleteI have been on Lexapro for 13 years and it has helped me tremendously. Good luck with everything and the most important thing I learned with depression is that there is no 'easy fix' and that it takes effort from yourself as well as help from other sources (like medication) to feel better and stay feeling better.
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