Yesterday I turned 31. I think there is one very simple reason why I look at this as a great thing instead of a-- holy crap, I'm now in my thirties--- moment. That reason is: I have never been this happy in my entire life. Seriously. My days are full. to the brim. I get to raise my 4 kids (easily the most challenging and equally rewarding aspect of my life.). I get to be a wife to my best friend. I get to own a dog. I get to own a house. I get to live in one of the top 10 US cities to raise a family. I get to scrapbook regularly and put all of my creative energy into trying to turn my passion into a career. I get to play roller derby. (Just so we're clear... I get that saying, "get" in a sentence in grammatically not cool. But I get to not give a s---.) (Besides, if proper writing etiquette is your jam you probably stopped reading at boo-tay.) :)
Beyond all of that, I feel like I finally know myself. I have no doubt about what I want out of this life.... This past year has been one of evolution and self discovery for me. I have embraced my flaws and decided that they are kinda cool because they make me, me. I have found a way to balance my life, finally. I have aggressively pursued all that I can to make me a bigger, badder, stronger, happier version.... I have gone out of my comfort zone countless times. I have stopped hoarding my time. I have learned to give space and take space when needed. I have set goals, realistic and otherwise. I have made plans and stuck to them. I have believed in myself and my family support system.
I'm not trying to paint some rosy picture of my life (although it probably seems like I am... right now you're probably thinking... "who does she think she is? nobody's life is perfect." --- I agree, mine certainly isn't. But it is a happy one.) Here is my disclaimer: I'm not saying I don't have my fair share of hiccups... and wtf am I doing moments... times when I want to pull my hair out... when I fantasize about being on a beach somewhere. alone. stranded for all time..... (but even when I experience those rough moments.. or days... I try to tell myself that they are all just a big piece of the happy picture. without down and out moments would the awesome ones feel so epic?)....
I was telling Hottie last night that I really think these are "the good old days.".... I know that probably sounds a little silly or even ridiculous to say. But, really. I just can't imagine things getting any better. I know in my heart that this is a time period that we will look back on fondly, one that we will cling to and reminisce about.... not to say that it will never be this good again or that it's fleeting.... but it does feel a little like lightning in a bottle, and I plan to soak up every last flash. (except for the ones where my kids are driving me bonkers... like Ev is shouting, "MOM! Will you WIPE me!" from the bathroom and I'm in the middle of changing Dez while the puppy is pooping on the floor.... and Nakiah is asking for a soda for the millionth time while I am furiously wondering why Aidan is not responding to my, "I need help," text..... those are the ones I will quickly block from my memory so I can go write a blog post about how happy and fulfilled I am.)
Bring it on 30's... and may you continue how you have begun. (began? begun? Oh man, where are those English majors when I need them?)
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